November Fanzine

Email Ferritforferreting@searchoptimizationengine.com



First a poem, by Dave.

We sorted your website,
Told you all the little rules,
But with Christmas coming,
Its time to down our tools,
So you will go as below,
And use theirs for some while,
And you will be happy John,
And you will grin and smile,
Because were off for a rest,
Which we think that we merit,
So you will be ingenious,
And think just like a Ferrit,
Our place is a new gaffe,
Just opened on the net,
Is why you havnt clocked it,
Or tried it out as yet,
But thats where youre going,
While we have Christmas cheer,
So youll have to sort it,
Till we see you in New Year.

What Dave is trying to say here, in his understated way, is
that Ferrits have a tiring schedule, more than most, and
thus need longer breaks than normal, well balanced,
people. So he feels they all need that longer Christmas break
than is usual for you and I, some two months in fact.

Here is your website he insists you use in his absence.



Enter Dave left with Gerald the large and Big Eddie the marauding mole.

There have been bad vibes from the search engine disadvantaged this year.

I dont blame them for being disadvantaged, that bunch
G have now got it right, and put it about like
good ones to my mind.

Why is that you scream. Ill tell you why, John, cos you
have transgressed the unwritten laws is why.

1. Thou shalt not fail to conform by w3 law, especially Iso
and Doctype, or we will use sarcasm and wit,
even hyperbole in extreme cases.

2. Thou shalt not link to other bad peoples sites,
even if they do it through your own guest books,
else we will send you to chilly Siberia to meet them
without coats.

3. Thou shalt not duplicate pages on your site on pain of crushing.

4. Thou shalt not link reciprocally or use link farms
unless you want to end up in concrete slippers.

5. Thou shalt have valid html code via a proper
validator or we will run you over with a tank.



This seems ok to me. Hard but fair.


I am leaving Gerald here to watch you all.

Dave exits left.

What he was trying to quietly impart to you here, in his
gentle yet forceful way, is that G is not a
happy bunny at all if you try any of the above
out on them.

Although he may have just exaggerated a tiny bit
on their penalties for these lapses, it is however
apparently very injudicial to go against these
guidelines.

A full list of G webmaster current guidelines is below

www.google.com/webmasters/guidelines.html

Dave.



As you can see, friendly, understanding, warm and welcoming.


Daves phrase, how he sorts things out.

If you need any help putting your website up in lights
on various search engine front pages, just email us.

john@seogurus.co.uk


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you know Ferrit makes sense